Imma talk a little today about resistance. I feel like it is a big part of my manifesting process, and one that is not widely spoken of in the LOA world. More specifically resistance to change. Here’s the thing: My brain is really good at receiving what it is used to getting, and can even manage small incremental changes without much resistance. It is familiar, we already have processes and thought patterns about how to go about accepting and welcoming it into our life. But, when I ask my brain to focus on something big, or outside of the normal experience, it often puts up a lot of resistance. It stirs up the self doubt, the unworthiness, the shame, guilt, fear and anger. I am good at identifying what I want, but as soon as I direct my brain to focus on it, it goes into meltdown mode. Error! Unfamiliar territory ahead! It tells me we are better off right where we are, thank you very much.
familiar? Yeah, I thought so. It is standard operating procedure for any
brain. Protect the human from scary,
unusual situations. Survival instinct
101 keeps us in a holding pattern unless we do the mental work of developing
new neural pathways to train the brain that this is now the new normal. I started my LOA journey when The Secret was
released. I just looked it up, and it
was March of 2006, don’t do the math. I
have and its north of a decade. I have
had many teachers, and influences since that time, but only one of them talked
about resistance in a way that sunk in. Brook
Castillo works a lot with thought management around overeating and over
drinking. Her work as a whole has been
the most applicable and actionable out of all the things I’ve read, watched and
consumed about LOA and life. One of the
things that has been most liberating about her message is that it has allowed
me to understand that it is OK that it is difficult to manage thoughts. That I’m not doing it wrong if I have
negative emotions, and resistance.
There is a
process for changing any habit in your life, including your thought
patterns. I know this is not new
information for you. There are as many
processes as there are teachers in the world, and there are many, very good
teachers in the world. But for me, where
I always went awry is when I met with internal resistance. It wasn’t enough to totally block my plans,
but it was enough to create inconsistency, and this fed the resistance. What I learned from Brooke (I hope she thinks
its OK I feel like we are on a first name basis) is that it is normal, natural
and expected to have resistance and negative emotion. It is just your survival mechanism kicking
in. It is not because I’m doing it
wrong, or am bad at it. It is because
humans of the past needed the brain to protect them from unfamiliar situations
to stay alive. Mind. Blown.
So the best
part is, that if we know we are going to meet negative emotion and resistance,
we can have a strategy to deal with it. In
the past, I thought it was supposed to be easy, that you decided what you want,
and were supposed to be blissed out in the emotion of having what you want
until you got it. Until I got frustrated at not having it, did a thought loop
around guilt because it wasn’t easy for me and gave up because the same
thoughts kept coming up, creating the same results. The thought patterns that create our current
existence are habitual. And, like any
habit, we can change it, first by identifying what is causing it, then
consciously changing our pattern. We
have to be OK with the discomfort of the new thoughts (because they will 100%
have discomfort attached) until our brains become familiar with the new thought
pattern. Oh, but we resist the process
so. But, like everything worthwhile in
life, the more you practice this, the easier it gets! But the discomfort, and negative thoughts
that surround any changes worth making will always be there.
do you change a habitual thought pattern?
The first step is identifying the thoughts and emotions that might be
standing in the way of where we want to go.
This can be challenging. You
might have to start with identifying what emotions you are feeling in any given
moment. You may have a pattern of
ignoring your emotions and letting thoughts run on default for so long, that
this is a really unusual request of your conscious mind. Maybe a good first question to ponder is what
am I feeling, and what thoughts are creating this emotion? Over a few days, take a few moments to think
about this question throughout the day.
Or, ask yourself this when you are feeling something negative.
understand what thoughts are creating anger, fear, insecurity, etc. you can
examine them to see if they hold any truth.
Do you want to continue thinking that way, or is there a better feeling
thought you can start thinking when you start to feel that way. If affirmations work for you, use them. Just make sure that you replace thoughts with
something that feels believable and true to you. If you want to generate a million dollars,
telling yourself that you already have a million dollars might cause more
negative emotion because it doesn’t feel true.
Start with I have money or the universe supports me in all I do. This would replace a thought like I never
have enough. Now, rinse and repeat this
process with all the thoughts and beliefs about money, your body, your
relationships etc. Some of them you may
want to keep, some you will want to replace.
Be aware that this will take repetition.
It won’t feel comfortable until the brain can recognize the thought as
familiar, and true, so be persistent.
And, don’t beat yourself up if you feel negative emotion along the
me back to resistance. It is just an
emotion we can feel in the body. Similar
to thought patterns, it will keep coming up until you re-set the new
normal. You will need to give yourself
time and space to feel negative emotion.
If you allow negative emotion, rather than resisting it, you can take
the power out of the experience. If you
are in the middle of a negative emotion, consider describing what it feels like
as a physical sensation. It gives you
some space and time to experience it, and if the worst experience you can have
is the physical sensation of an emotion, you can get through anything,
including the discomfort of change.
summarize identify the thought pattern that is causing the emotion. Let yourself experience the sensation of the
emotions positive and negative. Then
figure out what you would prefer to think instead. Then slowly start to turn the tide of
thoughts to create positive emotions surrounding the change you want to
create. There are a lot more tools you
can use to do this, but too much to include in this blog post. Keep reading though! I love sharing things that work to focus my
energy and shift from the discomfort to gratefully receiving. Keep manifesting my friend.