Do you feel bad, because you are feeling bad? Now that you’re into this LOA thing, knowing that thoughts and emotions will create experiences, do you beat yourself up when you can’t stay 100% joyful, thankful, focused and happy? Do you wonder why it seems so easy for others but impossible for you? You are experiencing negative emotion guilt.
Many of my most trusted teachers gloss over this, preferring to focus on the positive thoughts, but for me, this just made me feel like I was crappy at manifesting. It made me feel like the negative emotions that I could never quite get a handle on weren’t part of the process itself. That they were the enemy that I had to resist and eradicate. I always felt bad that I couldn’t keep my focus on the good stuff, and keep feeling the good feels. Something always got in the way, and it made me feel worse because I would worry that I was going to create bad things by feeling bad, and cue negative thought reel. So, here’s the thing that has helped me tremendously. Negative emotions happen. Especially when we ask for big things and big changes. It is the brain’s early warning system that unfamiliar thoughts and feelings are lurking.
The first thing is to get a handle on how much of your day is spent in negative thoughts and feelings. I didn’t realize how many of my habitual, ongoing thoughts and thought programs were bad for me. I didn’t even realize what I was thinking to make me feel that bad, because I wasn’t used to examining my thoughts. And even after I started working with LOA, I ignored negativity because I was trying to eliminate it. I thought If I just didn’t acknowledge it, it wouldn’t exist. But there it was. Running in the background. Creating in the background. It wasn’t until I started to give these thoughts some attention that I realized how mundane most of the things I was worrying about and, how old situations and circumstances were just looping around when I went on autopilot. The thoughts I didn’t take the time to clean up, became part of the background noise.
So, my solution to negative thought patterns? Give them some time, front and center. Identify the underlying emotion that they are causing. Feel it in the body. Decide what action you need to resolve it, or if you even want to resolve it. Do you need to forgive yourself or another? Do you need to shift your energy around it? Do you need to let something go? Do you need to create space and time for healing? It may not go away the first time you give it space to feel what is going on, but allowing yourself to be willing to feel negative is a critical step in taking the power out of negative thoughts. Resisting and avoiding will either feed the flames, or take it underground. I ask myself one question when I have a negative situation: Is the inconvenience of giving this some space, room and healing worth the inconvenience of it becoming part of my self-talk narrative? The answer is almost always no. Big things take more compassion, and effort to heal, but also worth it.
Create a safe space for yourself by setting the intention you won’t judge yourself. When you consider that many of our habitual thought patterns, especially about things that relate to our survival were solidified before the age of 7, you should cut the child you were some slack that they may have adopted some pretty twisted versions of reality. If you have been berating yourself for years about your self-worth, your abilities and strengths, your importance as a person, and your lovability (this is a very short list, you can fill in the blank here on what speaks to your inner monologue) these beliefs may be shy about revealing themselves to your conscious, critical mind. But this Pandora’s box is worth opening up to the light of day. Especially if you are struggling to get beyond a surface level in your manifesting journey.
And negative thoughts, feelings and experiences are going to come up because it is part of the process. In fact, if we can re-frame negative emotions as a sign that we are making changes in our thinking, we can reinforce the belief that it is on its way. If we can face it and feel it in the moment, it won’t have time to become part of the background noise. Negative emotion is part of the human experience. It helps the good stuff feel good, and gives us variety in our emotional landscape.
I have said it before, that if you stop learning, then you are dying, and I think learning how to manage ourselves in various challenging situations is part of life, and the sooner you can get on with it, assume some responsibility for your thoughts, and what you are creating, good and bad, the sooner you can start choosing better thoughts and emotions. Not 100% of the time, but enough to feel a difference, and give up the fear and guilt about feeling bad. Negative thoughts aren’t going away, but the way we manage our thoughts can change.